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Maj. Tulsi Gabbard Receives Surprise Deployment Orders to Antarctica

"The Democratic presidential candidate has been a unique critical voice against American military imperialism"

Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard (D-HI) was surprised with deployment orders to Antarctica earlier today, her presidential campaign confirmed.

The Democratic presidential candidate has been a unique critical voice against American military imperialism, drawing national attention to the issue during the first two rounds of Democratic primary debates, much to the chagrin of foreign policy hawks on both sides of the political aisle.

Congresswoman Gabbard is a major in the Hawaii National Guard, serving as a military police officer. She will be deployed to the Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station as part of a mission to enhance the security posture at the research station.

Sources at the Pentagon expressed concern at the potential threat posed by a nearby Russian research station located 800 miles away, as well as an increasingly hostile local penguin population.

“The situation in Antarctica is the greatest geopolitical threat we’ve faced since Grenada in the early 1980s,” said National Security Advisor John Bolton. “It’s imperative we put boots on the ground to protect America’s vital interests in the region.”

Gabbard recently made headlines following her brutal indictment of Sen. Kamala Harris’s (D-CA) record as California’s attorney general in the most recent round of Democratic debates. She was the most searched presidential candidate on Google following the debate, and drew ire from the Harris camp. Harris is rumored to be the favorite among the Democratic establishment and has courted big donorswho funded the Clinton campaign in 2016.

Gabbard will be deploying to Antarctica within the week, and is expected to return next summer, shortly after the Democratic National Convention has concluded.

“It’s unfortunate that Congresswoman Gabbard’s presidential aspirations have been thwarted by her upcoming deployment,” said Sen. Kamala Harris. “It will be difficult for her to have much of a voice in this election cycle while stationed at the South Pole.”

“If only she had some friends at the Pentagon who could do her a favor,” she added, winking dramatically and making finger guns long after the cameras stopped taking pictures.

Source: Duffel Blog