Senator Graham Promises in 2017 Congress Will Gay Rape Russia

It's time for Russia to pay 'a heavy price'

Senator Graham has big plans for 2017. He started the year in an Ukrainian army bunker from where he promised this year Russia will pay a “heavy price” for its “aggression”:

“I admire the fact that you will fight for your homeland.”

“Your fight is our fight, 2017 will be the year of offense.

“All of us will go back to Washington and we will push the case against Russia. Enough of a Russian aggression. It is time for them to pay a heavier price.” 

At Munich security conference yesterday he, in his characteristically imposing voice, elaborated just what that “heavy price” will be:

“To our German friends, you’re next. To our friends in France, they’re coming after you. And to my friend Mr. Lavrov, I hope you finally suffer some consequences for what you and your regime have been doing to democracies, and 2017 is going to be the year of kicking Russia in the ass in Congress.

Call me crazy but what nobody is pointing out is that “kicking Russia in the ass” is a very odd way of phrasing it. Normally a native speaker such as Graham would say “the year of kicking Russia’s ass.”

The only way “in the ass” part would be called for is if Graham had an entirely different fantasy in mind. One that didn’t involve just defeating Russia, but rather #%$&ing it in the ass Gaddafi-style.

Well good luck Senator. Bigger men than you have tried.